What If Other Religions Had Muslim Values?

Introduction

By Billy Rojas

Some points are made best by irony and satire.

The following presentation is being widely circulated on the Web and anyone who may find it valuable in a war of ideas against Islam is free to use it on their site, or to re-send, as desired.

In case it matters, I am a former teacher of Comparative Religion and of world history. In this capacity I not only taught at several colleges in the America but also was an instructor for the US Navy on board the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise. And while I have never known many Arabs, I have had a number of Iranian friends over the years and usually think highly of people from the Mid East.

But I am highly critical of Islam, which seems to me to be based on so many unjustifiable beliefs and values that it has no serious credibility for reasonable men or women.

The first two items were taken from a Conservative web site called "The People's Cube". Indeed, my recent discovery of this site was the inspiration for my satire. These items have been somewhat modified to better underscore the points now being made. All other material is entirely my work.

Christians Riot

Release of "Da Vinci Code" ignites massive demonstrations from coast to coast. Fourteen dead in Atlanta, hundreds injured; Chicago under siege as dozens of movie theaters are burned.

Leading Evangelical offers $1,000,000 to anyone who kills Dan Brown. Our Fatwa is the will of God, says James Dobson, leader of "Focus on the Family" terrorist group.

Representatives of Baptists, Pentecostals, Methodists, and other groups call on Congress to outlaw all movies that insult the Bible. Hundreds of thousands of believers go on rampage in Hollywood, movie goers beaten up.

Tom Hanks shown on "Christian Defenders of Jesus" video. Famous actor is beheaded. Jerry Falwell, head of "Liberty" organization linked to terror groups, praises "resolute action".

Car bombs wreck havoc in Houston as Christian suicide bombers demand the end to infidel occupation of Texas entertainment industry. Blasts rock downtown markets; 48 killed, 231 injured. FBI searches for terrorist leader, Pat Robertson, head of vicious group known as "700 Club".

Christian charities funnel millions to arms dealers and to outlaw groups that manufacture explosives.

About a dozen Christians in Boston say that Christianity has been   hijacked by extremists, that recent events do not show "real Christianity".

CRASS (Christian Resistance Against Such Stuff) files lawsuit against school board for defaming Christianity as violent. Seeks millions in damages. Says school board members will not live long if they do not agree to demands.

Jews Riot Over Pictures of Buddhist Symbol

Embassy of Buddhist Thailand burned down, leading rabbi calls for holy war against infidels.

From synagogues in Brooklyn to cities in Israel to Red Square in Moscow to retirement condominiums in Boca Raton, enraged Jews around the world are rioting to protest the use of swastikas on Buddhist temples. The fury is relentless, as Jewish parents are wrapping their children in Korean and Japanese flags before sending them to self-detonate in front of those countries' embassies.

As explained by residents at one Fort Lauderdale senior-care center, "If you thought that the Burger King's defamation against Islam was incendiary, then wait until you see how vengeance is taken against those who display swastikas. Those torchings of Broward County Sushi restaurants were no accident." However, when confronted with evidence that the arson attack might have actually come from these senior residents, he offered a different explanation: "It's against the Jewish religion to harm others. We know for a fact that the Buddhist Secret Service destroyed those restaurants in order to make us look bad."

The Anti-Defamation League National Director, Abraham H. Foxman, was particularly livid. "How dare any false religion display this odious symbol? This is clearly a deliberate and calculated attack on Judaism, and, in the name of G-d, we are declaring a Holy War to the death against these Asian monsters who drink the blood of Jewish infants. G-d be praised, we will destroy every one of you!

When informed that the swastika symbol predated the Nazis by 6000 years, and that it has also been long-used by Hindus and Jains, as well as among other cultures prior to the rise of the Nazis, Mr. Foxman, enraged, pounded on a table and screamed, "Death to them all, then!" He continued, "There is already precedent for defense against Buddhism, and the world will forget in five minutes anyway."

Jewish religious leaders elsewhere led mobs of fanatical worshippers, chanting: "Off with their heads!" On Red Square in Moscow, Russia, a rabbi leading a thousand-strong street protest stated, "Those Asian sign makers must be cut into as many pieces as the number of signs they produced." A chief rabbi in Munich, Germany, declared: "G-d will accept nothing less than dismemberment, and this is our last word."

In response to these recent outbursts of rage and violence, the U.S. Department of State apologized on behalf of Buddhists worldwide for the "insensitivity in which this symbol has been used", and U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan urged Jewish leaders to accept the State Department's apologies: "I appeal to the Jewish people to accept the apologies, and to forgive the wrong they have suffered."

Meanwhile, CNN declared that "out of respect for the Jewish religion, we will never report on stories from Asia again. There is free speech, and then there is gratuitous provocation. We will always respect the sensitivities of others, and would never broadcast anything with offensive content."

Zoroastrian Terrorist Leader Warns West

Cartoonists who draw unfavorable pictures of the Prophet Zarathustra will be killed; Parsee community demands severe penalties for publications that have run parodies of Zarathustra.

"We call on all Zoroastrians everywhere to attack non-Zoroastrian infidels", says Ozama bon Libin. head of Al Qabalah terror group.

Mormon Women Call For Genital Mutilation...

Mormon women speak out in favor of female genital mutilation, marriage as young as nine years old, head covering, legal requirement that two women are needed to equal the testimony of ome man in a court of law, and divorce prohibition.

"For us", said Phoebe Snowre, "Wearing a head covering or full body cover, is a fashion statement and an expression of Mormon identity. This, in no way, indicates our subservience to Mormon men. Besides, our holy text, the Book of Mormon, was given directly to our Prophet from God and it says that women must do these things."

Baha'i Terrorists Bomb Berlin Commuter Trains

Shouting "Alla-U-Abha," Baha'i zealots attack schools in Tehran demanding that anti-Baha'i teachers should be killed.

Wave of kidnappings of Muslim professors in Iran causes concern for officials. Muslim journalists critical of Baha'i religion are intimidated into silence.

Dalai Lama Calls For Destruction of India

"Hindus are pigs and apes", says Buddhist leader. "We can only tolerate them if they agree to pay a dharma tax and abide by the laws of the Holy Sutra. Hindus may not build new temples. If they try to convert Buddhists they will be put to death. But we are free to convert them.

Hare Krishnas Demand Death For Non-Krishnas

Hare Krishnas demand special food in public schools, demand special Krishna prayer rooms, demand that women students be allowed to wear saris in classes, and demand to serve as chaplains in US armed forces.